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5 Things to Say Instead of “I’m Sorry”

Oprah Daily

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If your catchphrase is a nonstop apology, it’s time to write a new script. Here’s what to say instead, in a range of situations.

A sincere apology is a beautiful thing.

It says, “I wronged you, and I take responsibility,” acknowledging the humanity of both the wronged party and the person who made a mistake, as humans do.

The problem is when you stop uttering “I’m sorry” only to apologize and start using it as a verbal tic: “Sorry, I’m not clear on this” before you ask a question. “Sorry to bug you” before you interact with someone. “Oh, so sorry…ficus,” when you turn a corner into a potted plant.

“We have to apologize for the times when our behavior negatively impacts somebody else”
—Lizzie Post, coauthor of Emily Post’s Etiquette

“We have to apologize for the times when our behavior negatively impacts somebody else,” says etiquette expert Lizzie Post, coauthor (with her cousin Daniel Post Senning) of the new Emily Post’s Etiquette: The Centennial Edition.

But when it becomes a default, “it starts to lose its impact or puts us in a position of feeling like we have to apologize for existing in the world.”

If this sounds uncomfortably familiar, by all means, don’t apologize!

First, recognize that you’re not alone.

Niro Feliciano, a cognitive psychotherapist and author of This Book Won’t Make You Happy, points to a recent study of university students that found that men and women apologize at the same rate—about 81% of the time they think they’ve offended someone—but women suspect they’re causing offense much more often.

“Our awareness is heightened,” she explains.

“If you go back to Adam and Eve, women have been blamed for the wrongdoings of other people for as long as we can remember. We receive mixed messages: Be intelligent but not a know-it-all. That creates an internal barometer where we are sensitive to how we’re perceived and what we do that might create tension in our workplaces, homes, relationships. This is why we’re so quick to say sorry.”

So save the apologies for when …

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Deering Estate Hosts A Valentine’s Day Concert Under The Stars

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Photo: Deering Estate (in the daytime)

The “Moonlight & Music” Valentine’s Day Concert at the Deering Estate offers couples and friends the opportunity to celebrate their love at an outdoor concert under the stars on Tuesday evening, February 14, 2023.

Guests can pack a picnic, preorder food or purchase food when they arrive, then settle into their lawn chair or cozy up on a blanket and enjoy the sounds of this year’s featured artist, contemporary Jazz Singer Bianca Rosarrio with an opening performance by Nikki Kidd.

The concert starts at 8 p.m.

Guests are welcome to bring blankets, lawn chairs and small picnic baskets.

Please note that the following items are not permitted: pets, large coolers, open flames/candles, balloons and pop-up tents.

Pre-ordered food and picnic baskets from Joanna’s Marketplace will be available for pick up at the concert.

Please call the catering department at 305-661-5777 to place your order by Friday, February 10th at 12 p.m.

Limited refreshments and food will be available for purchase at the concert.

Guests can choose General Admission or Private Balcony seating.

General admission

General admission open seating is available on the front lawn, in front of the two Historic House Museums, in the Royal Palm Grove and on the Boat Basin Jetties.

General admission tickets are … [ keep reading and get your tickets, before they sell out, at MiamiDade.gov ]

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